Finished at last

I finally got my finger out and finished Flynn's Quiet Book, hurray...... So here it is:

Tractor shapes

 The photos have been embedded in a different order than that I selected them in but you still get the idea.

You've seen a few of these before but I've added the any way.  Washing/Dryer and sock matching game.  

Build your own sandcastle

Zipper pocket on back cover to hold loose pieces

What's behind the barn door?

We are....

Family tree, plus their new puppy Pixel and another airplane.

It's me with Mum and Dad (and Pixel)

I've made a small fishing rod (not shown) with a piece of stick and some cord with a magnet on the end. This is one of Flynn's favourite games.  All the fish have magnets in their heads.

Once the fish are caught you can put them in the fish tank.

Flynn likes the song Five Little Monkeys so I had to make him a page with finger puppets.  

Farm yard animals

Not particularly well placed photos but its another of Flynn's favourite rhymes.  Incy Wincy Spider climbs up the water spout.

Hmm you can make a sandcastle upside down if you want to...

Ah caught a fish

What's under here, hmm

Now I'm going to put them in the bucket

Black and White sensory toy

My god daughter's new baby was very premature and has a few health problems.  His eyes are giving concern at the moment and she asked me if I could make him something to hang on his cot.  High contrast designs had been recommended by his paediatrician.  I did a bit of googling and came up with these.

They aren't perfect but I think they will do for now.  I made ribbon tags so they could be hung separately and so that she can alter the sequence.  The other side of the blocks have high contrast black and white fabrics, all different.  

In addition to these I've finally finished my June swap card "June brings Tulips, Lilies, Roses"  My little angle (lily) is bringing tulips and roses.

I created this one in Paintshop Pro using some scrapbook papers and elements I had previously bought.  I did a bit of stitching on the card, this is the background so the sewing hasn't been done on this one.

I also finished Marian's birthday card, she wanted a green one but I stupidly sent it to the wrong address so now I have to remake the card.

I even put the wrong name on it, duh obviously I was having a bad day.  Still got a couple more cards to do for this month which I hope to get done over the weekend.  I think Buster is missing Keith as he doesn't like me out of his sight.  He cries and whines if I'm not in his view after 30 minutes.   He doesn't like being in my sewing room, not enough floor space for him to sprawl out without me falling over him.  We've been for a long walk this morning over the fields and he was a very happy boy chasing butterflies.

Out of communication

I seem to have spent the last couple of weeks passing time, waiting for one engineer or another.  Our broadband, tv etc were all in Keith's name (and we had two of them!!) I had to rethink our communications package, cancelling the old one and setting up a new one.  Not insurmountable but it meant for a short while I was without a land line or broadband connections.  Then when they finally got round to putting them back together, the signal kept going down.  To cut a long boring story short I was left with only my mobile.  I know most people live on their mobiles these days but I have friends who don't have them.  But I am at last able to talk to people again.  I always thought I was happy in my own company and to an extent I am but with Keith not there to talk to I found it very depressing.  Consequently I've done nothing.....

Flynn's book wasn't finished in time for his second birthday but he seemed to enjoy himself without it.

Flynn and his dad blowing out his candles.

His mum made the monster cake, which Flynn loved.  I think she's done a good job of it.

Flynn won't remove his bib, they have been trying for ages to get him to give it up.  I guess its a sort of security blanket.  But one of these days, maybe.   He's beginning to look more like a little boy now but he's still a sweet tempered child who normally laughs all day.  Caught him in a serious mood.

A Strange Experience

A few weeks before Keith died we had the conversation "do you believe in life after death" and neither of us was sure.  Keith laughingly said that if there was life he'd let me know.  Well last night I'm not sure whether he did or whether I dreamt it.  We have a security light in the garden which is often activated by wild night life and the light shines in our bedroom if I forget to close the bathroom door.  Last night I was in that not-quite-asleep state when a light lit up the bedroom.  I turned towards it and distinctly felt a weight on the bed and saw Keith kneeling on his side of the bed.  He was insubstantial, I was aware that I could see the drawers through him but he felt solid when he put his head to my forehead and kissed me.  I woke fully and he'd gone, checked the bathroom door and it was closed but I felt such peace and knew he was fine and comfortable wherever he was. For the first time in ages I slept through the night.  Still think it was a dream but part of me hopes... maybe.

Yesterday I finished all the tasks left to do after the funeral.  The District Nurses picked up the last of the equipment and end-of-life drugs from the house and I took the donations to St Teresa's Hospice.  Now for the next chapter.

Buster and I managed a longer walk than usual we followed an ancient path that circles part of the outskirts of the town.  The wild flowers are in abundance and Buster and I really enjoyed the walk.  Even if Buster did insist on eating the grass.

This bit looks good

Okay I'll not eat any more

This part of the ancient byway runs between a local supermarket and the
town bypass

Looking the way we've just come

Flag irises are everywhere, the old beck is also a
water drainage ditch for the bypass and so there is slightly
more water in it than usual.

One of our 'landmarks' is the 'Brick Train' which is viewable from the A66 bypas.s Holes were deliberately left in the structure so that bats could make their homes in it and there is now a thriving colony.

Bypass side.  The designer is David Mach and its representative the towns link with railways. It depicts  a train leaving a tunnel.  There is a viewing platform on top of the tunnel bank from which you can get the full impact of the train leaving the tunnel and good views of the surrounding countryside.

This is one of Buster's favourite walks because he can chase the rabbits, particularly around the platform.   He never actually catches them as he's far too slow but he's quite proud of himself for chasing them. Yesterday was no exception he came back with a smile on his face.

May Lamb swap

My May lambs, as I said in the last post have been rehoused with my family.  They watched me sew them as I sat with Keith and they have taken on a significance I never intended when starting to sew them.  So I will now restart the project this weekend and hopefully post them next week.  In the meantime here are the swaps I have received, my flock of woolly jumpers: -

From Alice, love the fleece embellished background, very typical of my local area too.  

Top card from Helen and the bottom one from Pauline.  I just love the humour in these cards, they made me smile - thank you ladies.

The last two are from (top) Jacquie and (bottom) Miriam.  Both have made good use of fabric.  Jacquie has created a background from prints, don't think I've every seen a print with sheep on before.  And Miriam's sheep are enhanced with stitch, another great fabric.

We've said our goodbyes

and he had a happy send off.  The little church at the crematorium was full and people seemed to enjoy the music.  My niece said she wanted to dance, Keith would have loved it if she had. The funeral tea was a happy event, lots of tale telling, laughter and general fun.  Everyone left with a smile on their faces.

Keith, my quiet man of strength, determination and courage.

Now for the start of a new chapter.  I finally got the lambs finished and all but the one for the hospice have gone to their new homes.

Now to get on with Flynn's quiet book.

Almost there

Almost there, the business side of things are mostly sorted now, just the odds and sods remain but they can wait a day or two.  It's been a difficult few days but Keith was always the optimist and didn't believe in dwelling on things too much and as a family we've tried to live up to his expectations.   The funeral is arranged for Friday and it will be as Keith wished a humanist service.  We meet with the humanist speaker tomorrow to talk about Keith.  The service will be a  celebration of his life, about how much he enjoyed life, his interests and how much he loved his family.  

Music for the service has been a bit of a nightmare as Keith's favourite songs were Snoopy and the Red Baron, Harper Valley PTA, The Israelites, Hey Jude and Rock Island Line. His leaning was very definitely towards the 60's and he liked something you could sing along to.  Keith had a terrible voice, totally tuneless and he loved to sing loudly in the car while driving and I would join in. That's a memory that will always make me smile.  

We all got together and have come up with three we knew he enjoyed and we thought suitable for the occasion.  So its going to be Bob Marley's Don't Worry,(which the boys inform me is actually called Three Little Birds), The Troggs Love is all Around You and naturally Hey Jude. 

I am almost there with the woolly jumpers too.  Got three to sew onto backgrounds and do the finishing up bits but they are beginning to come together. I must apologise for the blue colouring, the lid of the scanner wouldn't close properly as they are a bit thicker than paper so the light seeped round the sides.

Three are still in the slip form but have already been allocated to family members who, like me, don't want to let the go.

One finished and one to have eyes added.  I want to give them all slightly different expressions and may add glasses to one or two.  The one on the right, with the eyes, will belong to Alix who has named her Ermintrude.  The pink one above will belong to Julie and my sister wants one of the orange ones, one will go to St Teresa's Hospice and  I will keep what's left.  Then all I have to do is make another five for the swap but they won't be full of French knots like the five above.

I heard my name called

Just before seven this morning I was startled awake hearing Keith shout my name.  I was sure I must have dreamt it but it left me unsettled and I got up and rang my son Simon.  He took me to the hospice early but on the way their the hospice rang to see if I was coming in as Keith's breathing had taken a turn for the worse.  He became ill around 6:30 am and the staff at the hospice thought this was the end.

My lovely Keith sadly lost his battle with cancer tonight.  It was peaceful and both boys and their wives were with him at the end.  I will miss him dreadfully, as will the family but at last he is free of pain and stress.

Goodbye my love

Not long to go

We were told yesterday that Keith has no more than a couple of weeks left with the likelihood that it will be just a few days.  I knew it was coming but it was still difficult to take and my heart is heavy.  Having said that Keith is comfortable, still wanting to go to the pub for a drink with his boys.  Yesterday we were talking to the boys about music and I said his favourite songs when we courting were The Israelites and Hey Jude.  They were in the top ten at that time and Keith would go out of his way to find a juke box and set the records to play.  Suddenly Keith started to sing Hey Jude - he didn't manage much of the song but it was recognisable and we all laughed.  This morning when I went in to see him he greeted me with another rendition, then promptly fell asleep.  I think he had been saving up for that all night.

I'm trying to get a couple of hours at home in the afternoon and will go back in to see him after tea.  If he deteriorates rapidly there is a bed-settee in his room and I will stay overnight.  I am still sewing my sheep, almost got them onto a background but still not taken a photo.  I have a feeling I may not be able to give them up, ah well that's life.

Move to Hospice

The hospital have now done all they can for the acute medical problems Keith has experience but it is now time for him to be discharged.  He is still confused, mainly when he is tired, and still trying to get out of bed but just doesn't have the strength.  Having said that the staff looked in on him the other morning to find that he had found the bed control and stood his bed up, his feet were sticking out of the bottom.  After that they locked the controls.  He was a bit disturbed because he said he didn't think it was right his going out with 18 or 19 year old girls, he just didn't have the strength for them.  The nurses were trying to get him dressed, he thought they had designs on his body - now that's wishful thinking.  And as his consultant said "a man thing".

He has been transferred to the local hospital, which is a lovely old house, a bit higgledy piggledy but homely and they even gave him a beer tonight.  Pity he was too tired to drink it but the thought was there.  He can stay here for the next two weeks in the hope of regaining some strength after that the decision has to be taken as to whether he is able to come home or remain in care for what time he has left.

I am going to stay with him over the weekend as staffing levels are low so I am hoping to get some more hand sewing done.  I really must take a photo so you can see what I am doing.

Still Difficult Times

The doctors have got Keith's confusion under control and he is now the quiet, peaceful man I have lived with for the past 44 years.  However it looks like he is nearing the end.  They are still pumping lots of antibiotics and fluids into him via tubes as he cannot swallow.  He can answer questions with simple yes/no answers and tell you when he is in pain or needs something else.  But his answers are mumbled as his tongue muscles are weak and he just doesn't have any strength left;  all that fighting seems to have taken it out of him.

Today I await the consultant and MacMillan nurses assessment but it looks quite bleak and I may not get my love back home again.  But you never know, he is still a determined man.

Difficult times

The last week has been a bit of a nightmare.  It started with Keith's second fall of the Bank Holiday weekend this one we could not manage to get him back on his feet.  We had to call the emergency number for help.  He seemed okay when they finally got him into bed and we talked late into the night putting the world to rights.  But on Tuesday morning I woke to a completely different man, one who was very weak and very confused but didn't appear to be in pain.  Keith deteriorated rapidly over the next couple of days becoming even more confused and combative, something he has never been but still not complaining of pain.  The District and MacMillan nursing teams and his GP all thought he was entering the final phase of his illness and the cancer had probably gone to his brain.  

However, at the insistence of his nursing carers, his GP finally organised blood tests (why this hadn't been done earlier nobody can understand).  It appeared that Keith's lack of appetite and reluctance to drink had resulted in severe dehydration and raised calcium levels, plus other raised results showed he had an infection somewhere.   Any, or all, of these result could be the reason for his altered behaviour.   He is in hospital where they are trying to get his calcium levels down, rehydrate him and treat his infection.  But he isn't the easiest of patients to treat as is determined to go home.  He persistently climbs out of bed (despite the rails round his bed), removes all his clothing because he is too hot and still confused. Despite being so ill he is physically a strong man when agitated.  My poor love is very distressed and I hope they manage to get to the bottom of this soon.  In spite of his treatment though all the doctors he has seen believe that his cancer is partially to blame and we have a long wait until Tuesday to see if what they can treat has worked I get my Keith back.

In the meantime I have managed to get some hand sewing in sitting by his bedside.  I will take a photo later and show you how far I have got with my "woolly jumpers".

Steam Punk Doll

Way out of my comfort zone this one but only because I haven't done this sort of work for some time.  Soon got into the stride though and here she is - Myst Tyeke:-

She's made from pelmet vilene.;  some I had used to mop up dyes etc.  I cut a corset for her from the same piece and added laces, metal belt and lace edging.   I painted, sewed and embossed the bottom half to give it a more metallic look.  I admit I am not into steam punk, which I take to be an engineering version of punk/goth.

I am sadly lacking in cog wheels or anything else mechanical to adorn her but I found an old watch and took it to pieces in the hope I would find some cogs.  I was sadly disappointed; it was a battery operated watch and just didn't have any cogs. It should have been obvious to me that it went on electric pulse rather than mechanics duhhhh.  But I did find a die cut with cogs on in our local garden centre and now she has a cogwheel hair cut.  I'm afraid that's my only steam punk bit, just hope my partner isn't too disappointed with her.

Another Page for the Quiet Book

Finished the fire engine with lift off ladder, cone and axe and a hose pipe that sticks to the velcro patch so it can be played with.  Plus a "Buster" to drive the engine, just hope he likes it.  

Missed the Embroidery Guild meeting today which I am sure I would have enjoyed very much.  Sandra Wallace was giving a talk about colour, stitch and beads.  I'm sure it will have been a great talk but unfortunately Keith still isn't well enough to leave for more than a couple of hours.  His pain is beginning to make itself felt now and the strong pain killers make him sleepy.  He spends most of the day in bed asleep but if he wants to get up to make a bathroom trip or to come downstairs he is too unsteady to do it alone.  We've had these up/down days before and hopefully it won't be too long before we once again have a handle on his pain and he will join in the fun.  He has been enrolled in the 'Falls Clinic' and has his first meeting next Friday.  Apparently they all have a laugh together so it should be good for him to get some company other than mine and the boys.

Still it has given me some sewing time and a lovely lady from the Yahoo BQLPC group (called Pauline) sent me a pattern for a different type of Quiet Book.  I've decided to use some of those pages and have made a start on them.  More pics next time.

Difficult times

Not done much sewing just don't have the incentive at the moment.  Keith continues to be unwell with the cancer pain beginning to take its toll.  He sleeps much of the time but we did manage to get one day out when he was feeling a bit better.

We went up into Swaledale to Reeth but forgot that they are working on the roads for the Tour de France.  The direct route to Reeth was closed so we had to follow the redirection route.  I'll never complain about going up Sutton Bank again!!! The route over the moors was new to me and most of it on single track with passing places.  It was steep and tortuous with lots of Z bends over tiny brooks. Very picturesque but it tested my driving skills to the utmost.  To make matters worse when we finally got to Reeth there was no where to park.....  On the way back (a different route to the one we came on) we came across a small beck and let Buster out to enjoy the water and cool his paws.  He did not want to leave it.  There was a run-off from the fells emptying itself into the beck and Buster was fascinated by the noise it made.

By the time we got home Keith was exhausted and spent the next couple of days in bed.  Guess we won't be making too many more days out, just the odd drive when he feels up to it.

I've joined a Yahoo group called artforthecreativemind and am in the process of trying to create a steampunk paper doll.  Not done anything steampunk before so it is certainly a challenge.  I chose the group because its one-to-one swapping which at the moment I find easier to deal with (as well as cheaper on the postage).  But its very different from anything I've swapped before so we'll see what I am capable of.

Good Days Bad Days

The last few days have been good ones, we've had sun, Keith has felt fit enough to play with his wheelchair (in shorts!!) and I've managed to do some Easter sewing.

I saw this collapsible thread catcher on YouTube (just google it and you'll find lots of links) and thought it just the thing for my sewing group friends.  It's very quick to make and you use recycled stuff, such as a bit of milk bottle plastic, cereal packet and an empty Pringles tube.  It took me two nights to make five, by hand.....

 When I'd finished making them I remembered a packet of small Easter eggs I'd bought and wondered if I could put one or two in.  It took two and don't they look cute, just like a couple of eggs in a nest.  I gave them to my friends on Monday and they were delighted with them as the thread catcher is small enough to pop into their sewing boxes.

I didn't buy Flynn any chocolate this year as last year he was inundated with them.  He likes to draw so I bought him one of Crayola white boards and some erasable crayons.  These are great as they just wipe off with a dry cloth or a damp one if he decided to use the walls and furniture as a drawing board.  Then I decided to make him an art folder to put everything in.  It has a pocket for the white board plus one for his crayons on one side.  On the other there are four pockets, one with a zipper the smallest for the cloth to wipe off his board.

I put his name on the front of his art folder, unfortunately I didn't think of this before I had put the whole thing together so the letters had to be bondawebbed on.  

But that was yesterday today isn't so good.  Keith has quite a lot of pain and he's back on the morphine at quite a high rate.  I'm due to go and get my hair cut but depending on how he feels in a couple of hours I may need to cancel that.  I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him at home on his own for a couple of hours.  I know he would probably just sleep but I'd rather be with him.  Tomorrow he may be okay again, hope so as Sy and Julie are putting on an Easter BBQ for the combined families.  Keith enjoys socializing so fingers crossed.

Flynn's Quiet Book

I've managed to get a couple of pages made for Flynn's Quiet Book.

 First one is a sock matching game.  As Flynn loves to help his mum unpack the washing machine I thought he'd love this one.

 When not in use the socks can be stored in the washing machine.

All ready to be paired up on the sock page.  The socks and sock page all have small magnets in them.  I found it difficult to find magnets that were strong enough to hold two layers of felt together and not so strong you needed a crowbar to part them.

 Next page is the Build a sandcastle page.  The pieces are loose so that they can be placed in any order.

And when he has finished playing with them they all go in the bucket.

The last page I've done for now is a shape matching one, I've left one of the sides open so the pieces can be stored.

There are lots of these books out there on the web but I particularly liked the free patterns from www.imagineourlife.com  This lady has some seriously cool pages and I shall be using some more of her pages as well as one or two of my own.  I have yet to think of a way to put these pages together, most of those I've seen involve ring folders or the rings like those in folders.  A few years ago I did an on-line course with Maggie Smith and created a folder to show off different edges.

It comprised of canvas pages with button holes at intervals along the edge through which I threaded a handmade fabric strip ending in a loop.  The loops were then wrapped round wrapped sticks to hold in place.  It has proved to be very effective and you can add and remove pages without nipping your fingers in the ring binder.  Flynn's folder will be different but I'll probably use the button hold method to hold the pages together.  Now onto the next page, hmm shall it be a puzzle, build your own burger, five monkeys jumping on a bed or......

March Breezes

It's certainly been windy up here in the North East of England, we've also had thunder storms.  So the BQLPC group's "March Breezes" theme was very apt.  Here are the cards, there were only six of us in the swap and I've waited until all were received so I could show them as a set.

These two are from Alice (top) and Jacquie (bottom).  I was a bit puzzled about Alice's card at first then realised she had sewn seed heads blowing in the wind.  The photo doesn't show Jacquie's card to advantage, you can't see the glitter blowing about in the wind.

Both Miriam (top) and Pauline (bottom) have shown wind blowing in the trees, I love Pauline's weather vane.

I love Helen's lady struggling with the March breezes.

As for me well here are mine, not a very good photo I fear as I scanned them all in at one to save time and the light has given them a blue haze.

I saw this lady adorning the March page of a calendar in a garage.  It had the caption of "A bit breezy" which I thought just the thing.  So
my cards show a Marilyn Monroe look-alike and the affects of a March breeze.  Well Keith liked them....

Been a bit of a mixed period lately

I've managed to get some sewing done, these are the leftover 3.5" squares.  I had thought to turn them into a fabric waste bin to match the throw but in the end the dog won out and they are going to be his new blanket, complete with fleece backing.

Keith has been quite well and is getting on with his walking sticks okay.

We've been out for lunch with the family.

And Keith managed to fall again on Tuesday night.  This time he landed up again the cooker and managed to bend the handles and break the lid hinge.  But he came off worse with quite bad bruising and naturally its set him back a bit.  All in all though he's doing okay and is very positive in his attitude.  He's telling everyone that I threw the cooker at him, as if.